At the end of the year, I have taken to reviewing my gratitude journal entries for the previous twelve months. This helps me remember the year that’s just finished and the many, many blessings I have. 2011 was an especially difficult year, so finding something to be grateful for each day was especially important for my emotional well-being. I repeatedly recorded my gratitude for people who were supportive, and the list was long: Trustees, parents, colleagues, and family. I also appreciated people who took the time to write a positive or grateful email. I was grateful when I mustered the courage I needed for a difficult conversation or a challenging presentation. I also reached out over the course of the year to a variety of professionals for advice, and I was grateful for the excellent counsel they offered. In retrospect, I can say that I have learned a number of important lessons. Effective leadership embodies many facets, including constant self-reflection and attention to improvement; events over the past twelve months have lead me to focus more on clear, effective communication especially regarding sensitive issues and visibility and connectedness.
Working in a school, honestly, offers a steady stream of opportunities for gratitude. As Head, I go to all musical and dramatic performances, which range from the scores of Lower School violinists playing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to the sophisticated and practically professional level of some of the Upper School musicians, singers and actors. Some of these are truly transporting, as you know if you’ve heard the Upper School Chorus sing “Shalom” at the end of the annual Winter Concert. I also had a wonderful student docent take me around the Lower School Art Show and I marveled at the fabulous—sometimes breathtaking—work produced by Middle or Upper School art students.
Athletics also presents its own opportunities for gratitude: winning a good game—particularly against a team to whom we’ve regularly lost in the past: Potomac in soccer, Portledge in ice hockey, Visitation in field hockey, or Holy Cross in swimming. Sometimes losing well is equally worthy of note. The Volleyball team lost a heartbreaking championship match this fall, but they played extraordinarily well, coming back from a two-game deficit to win the next two, in the process demonstrating admirable perseverance. Actually winning a championship certainly calls for celebration and gratitude, opportunities the Varsity Tennis and Ice Hockey Teams both offered during the course of 2011.
Beginning in September, I made visiting classes a priority (remember that focus on visibility and connectedness to which I had committed myself). I have sat in dozens of classes from PE to Physics, from Third to twelfth Grades. I often talk about our teachers in this column and elsewhere, and I am extremely grateful to them for their commitment to challenging our students, for their care and concern for them, for their passion for teaching, and for their creativity. Whether it’s third graders presenting their research on holidays from around the world or fifth graders analyzing technological innovations or seventh graders creating math games or juniors examining the effects of industrialization or seniors studying great Spanish painters in Spanish 5 Honors, or any number of other examples, what happens in our classrooms is inspiring.
In the midst of the busyness of life, I frequently expressed gratitude for the respites of nature, calm, and even the completion of items on a to-do list. I often noted a beautiful day, spring flowers, or fresh snow. I appreciated the beach, the river or the canal, being out on the water in our boat, or even just a weekend morning walk around the campus. I love riding my bike and am glad when the weather permits it. I was grateful for quiet days, for time to read, for time to knit, for getting chores—whether school or home related—done. Good movies—a tear-jerker or a comedy—and good food—grilled artichokes, red velvet cupcakes, summer tomatoes from the Farmer’s Market, blackberries straight from the bush, or crisp, sweet fall apples all appeared in my entries. And I’m always grateful for Snow Days and Fridays!
The importance of people stands out on page after page of the notes I scratch each night before I go to sleep. How much I value my colleagues. How much I treasure the experiences with the girls. I was so tickled when the fourth graders invited me to ride a go-cart last spring. Making soup with the third graders, being a goddess at Greek Day, or joining the Middle Schoolers for a Community Service Day, each is special. My annual spring lunches with the seniors are always rewarding, interesting, and fun. My advisees delight whether we are just chatting away or actually engaged in project, like building a gingerbread house (which took third place before it collapsed!). Over the course of the year, I also had the chance several times to see former students, which any educator will tell you is one of the greatest rewards life offers. It’s so wonderful to see the paths their lives take, and it’s an honor to be allowed to step onto those paths periodically. Just in the last few weeks, I’ve visited with girls now in college, one just returning from a semester in France and the other getting ready to head off to China and London on a two-year Rotary Scholarship after she graduates in May. Last week, we had dinner with three of my former advisees, now college graduates. One is in her first year of medical school; one is getting a master’s degree in interaction design at Carnegie Mellon, where she has just created a new game for Facebook; and one has just returned from two years in China where she met a Finnish engineer, to whom she just became engaged! As you might imagine, that was a very fun evening.
Friends and family both feature prominently and frequently in my journal. As I’ve mentioned before in this column, I feel very fortunate to live near my brother and his family. Interesting, lively, creative people, spending time with them is intellectually stimulating and fun. It’s a gift that we celebrate birthdays and holidays together, that we can drop by after church, and that we often get together just because. I also adore the time we spend with my sister and her family. This summer, I was grateful that she, her husband, son, and daughter were able to evacuate from Hurricane Irene’s destruction on Long Island to our Block Island house, and we gained the unexpected pleasure of spending Labor Day Weekend with them and their dogs, who included five adorable puppies. Speaking of dogs, I probably don’t express thanks for our two often enough.
One of the challenges of being a Head of School is how little time one has to develop and maintain friendships. So, I am exceedingly grateful when we can eke out time with friends. We spent part of spring vacation in Florida with friends from Connecticut; a trip to California for a wedding allowed us to catch up with two different families we had been very close to when we lived there. We marveled at that most satisfying experience of picking up right where we left off more than 12 years ago.
Not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for my son. Like all of us, I’m grateful when he plays well—either athletically or musically—when he gets good grades, when he’s happy, when he’s kind or generous. He also has a wonderful group of friends, and I often expressed gratitude for them. Over and over again, I recorded my gratitude for my husband: for his support, for his being an expansive host, for his understanding, for his organizing activities for our son and said friends, and for his encouragement that we spend time with our friends. The other person who appears in my entries repeatedly is my assistant, Janice DeMare; her support, perceptiveness, humor, and caring helps not just me but the whole school. Running schools is a rewarding, complex and demanding enterprise. It is impossible to do it alone, and I am eternally grateful to all who support me in this endeavor.
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